However, consequences of divorce for men can often be more serious than the consequences for women because more often than not, the courts tend to favour women.
Divorce can impact men in a more negative manner than it impacts women. The main reason behind this is that men find it harder to express their feelings. Therefore, even during this time of extreme emotional turmoil, men tend to keep their feelings bottled up inside them. In fact, recent studies have proved that many men tend to become recluse after their divorce is finalised because they do not feel comfortable socialising after a divorce.
This reclusive approach can be very harmful emotionally and physically because by limiting social interaction and not becoming more aware of their feelings, men tend to delay their healing process. Women tend to fare better than men in this area because they are very vocal about their feelings. Therefore, they tend to reach out to their emotional sources of support, which helps them tremendously in emotional and physical healing.
Because of their withdrawn behaviour, men also tend to face more health problems. Men tend to neglect their health during this time of crisis and this takes a toll on their health. Most men tend to feel that showing any sign of emotional weakness during or after a divorce process will make them look ‘unmanly’. Therefore, most men try to put a happy face in front of other people even when they are feeling miserable inside. This affectation of being happy when they are actually not can prove to be a huge emotional burden.
Issues and Challenges Faced by Men After Divorce
Most men tend to feel like losers at the end of the divorce process. Men tend to face similar emotional and financial problems as women, yet most courts tend to put the needs of children and women before men’s needs. This can make the men feel as if they are being treated very unfairly.
When young children are involved, courts tend to give the custody of the child to the mother. This can be one of the most difficult challenges to deal with for a man. As a father, you may have been used to playing with your child and tucking your child in his or her bed every night; you may have chalked out a certain routine with your child so that you and your child can share some special time with each other on an everyday basis. However, all of this ceases to exist as soon as the divorce is finalised.
If the custody is given to the mother, your status in your child’s life may be reduced to that of a visitor. In addition, it can seem very unfair to most men to meet their child as per the court’s visitation rules. Many men feel that they are hardly able to spend quality time with their children after divorce.
Divorce is a tough time but children can act as very good stress busters for parents in distress. While the custodial parent can take advantage of this stress buster, the other partner, who in most cases is the father, has no choice but to bear the pain of divorce alone.
Often men work very hard so that their families can maintain a certain standard of living. After working so hard, men tend to feel very cheated after a divorce. This feeling can be heightened when the financial settlement goes in favour of the women. Men feel that despite working so hard in their careers and enduring the pain of divorce, they still have to give away a major portion of their money in child support or spousal maintenance.
Some men have to pay huge amounts in alimony and end up feeling that divorce as well as marriage was a raw deal for them. Handling the entire household by yourself can also be very challenging. Some men have little or no experience when it comes to matters of the kitchen or laundry. Therefore, coping with all these issues can seem challenging after divorce.
Tips to Minimise the Impact of Divorce
We have highlighted some helpful tips for men so that they can minimise the negative impact of divorce on their lives.
Reach out for support. Being close to friends and family during this time of crisis can help you deal with the situation.
Communicate. Expressing your feelings will help you heal internally and by reducing your emotional burden, your physical health too will remain stable. Seek professional help if you have to.
Ask for help. Most men hesitate to ask for help. However, you will be surprised to know how simple things can be when you just ask for help. You will probably need help arranging your kitchen and dealing with child custody issues.
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